There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize