If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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