Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
