yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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