Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
