I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
