You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
