i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
