Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
