Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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