I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize