i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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