just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
