Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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