While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
