The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
