how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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