Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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