office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
