allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
