let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
