She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So squirting runs in the family.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
