haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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