I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize