it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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