I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need to stop coming to work sober
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
