Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
