she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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