so that wasnt chicken after all
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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