You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
