is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
