Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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