In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Terrible idea I love it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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