I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize