if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
