i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
