Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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