I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
