I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
