tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
