how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
