Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
