And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize