i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
