at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
