Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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