you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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