How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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