Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
