You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
