I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We need to get me chipped asap
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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