Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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