I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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