Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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