it hurts more in the daytime
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
