3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
