You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
