I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
