i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
they need to just BURY HIM!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
