My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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