why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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