forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
