he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
