i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize