Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
