So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
BRING THE BAGELS
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
