apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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