Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
