oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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